Silver Linings Playbook (an amazing reality)

   There are a lot of things I want to say about this movie...like how completely amazing it was! It puts a whole new perspective on the reality of mental illness and it showcases the brilliance of it's stars (Bradley Cooper, and Jennifer Lawrence). I love them both so much...but that aside this movie spoke volumes to me considering my mother has several mental disabilities so I know the difficulty of living around these. This movie was able to capture it all not only with the plot, but with the cinematography, the dialogue, and the cast. I guess the biggest achievement would be making an average person comprehend how a person with mental illness operates and sees the world...because believe it or not it's vastly different than the way any other person does...but I digress. This film won 1 Oscar (Jennifer Lawrence, best performance by an actress in a leading role) and rightly so. Over all (across all film awards world-wide) it had 77 nominations and 61 wins. If that doesn't explain how wonderful it is then you should quit reading now. 

This is what happens when you read A Farewell to Arms. Thanks Hemingway.

   The plot of this movie captures an interesting reality of mental illness. Pat (Bradley Cooper) is a man just come out of an eight month court ordered stay in a mental hospital in Baltimore. He was put there for beating his wife's lover near to death after walking in on the two together. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and shipped off there. After he gets out he stops taking his medication and truly believes his wife will be with him again if he fixes all the problems she had with him. Enter Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence). Her character is as equally jacked as his. You discover her husband died and to cope she became a bit of a sex addict to cope (which she has dealt with before this movie even begins...kinda). The plot circles around these two and the mental problems they have and how they perceive the world and one another. To me it seems a bit scatter-brained, but it also seems like that's how it's meant to be. It's an organized scattered, much like the mind of someone who is bipolar. And that is what makes it unique.

*An excellent example of outlandish dialogue

   The direction, cinematography, and dialogue blend together to make this movie exciting to watch. The seemingly whimsical way the camera moves at times seems to embody the attitude of the characters and go with their mood swings. Like riding a roller coaster of their emotions, which is exactly what would be happening if you lived with them. The director (David Russell) had to be a genius for making this so well. He knew the struggles of someone with this disorder (his son was bipolar and OCD) and made it a reality on camera. I can't thank him enough for it either. And the dialogue...it was shockingly well done. Some of the things said were outlandish* and a bit crazy, but not the generic shit you usually hear in movies that wish they could be like this. It was the truth of what people like this do...up and down...and then back again. None of these three things would stand without the others because the combination makes the movie what it is...beautifully and brutally honest.

Yes J. Law. I love you.

   My favorite part of this film is the cast. All the characters play off one another beautifully and they actually let this movie change them as people. Robert De Niro (Pat Sr.) actually cried unscripted because of Bradley Cooper's performance. And the way they all fit into their roles, I just can't imagine anyone else being cast in this film. Jennifer Lawrence is a personal favorite of mine though so I guess she has a bit of an advantage...





   To conclude this rather long praise of this film I just have to say watch it. If you know anyone or have a family member with mental illness this movie might make you understand that it's not entirely something they have control of...if you just love movies then you'll enjoy it because it's a good movie. The only audience I wouldn't recommend this for is children under the age of 14 and that's only due to overuse of the word 'fuck' and the sexual references...change that to nobody under the age of 16.

Rock of Ages (everything 80s jammed in 123 min)

This movie was...well I'm not sure yet. I saw it opening weekend and I'm still conflicted about my opinion. I love the whole movie, but not exactly as a fan of movies. Do you know what I mean? I'm a fan of the 80s (thank you mom and dad), but as a movie this wasn't what I expected. The story was a little lacking and the music wasn't as spectacular as I wanted it to be. Also I wasn't a fan of Tom Cruise in this movie at all. Like at all at all. I get the character was supposed to be that way, and I know the 80s were weird, but come on. Anyway, lets discuss the weirdness (totally a word) of this movie!


   So the plot...well I guess the whole movie is supposed to be an over exaggeration of the 80s so I can't be too hard on it, but I believe they took it a bit too far. Nebraska girl (or Oklahoma or Kansas...whatever) comes to the big city to sing and gets robbed in 5 minutes. Boy wonder gets her a shitty job and they fall in love...they both have a great month or 2 before some falling out which causes him to sell out musically and her to become a stripper (I'm cutting out the musical numbers)...either way, this is all well and good, but the way it's told...it's just too over the top. I can't really think of another good way to explain it so I'll just leave it at this: it's too damn 80s.

   The music could have been so much more fantastic than it was! It was the 80s, hello? Music and hair were like the two most important things back then! So why was the music lacking? I'm not really sure. I know they can only do so much because of copyright and all that nonsense, but I guess I just expected better. The mash-ups weren't that great and the rendition of Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing' was so-so. Again, Tom Cruise...ew. Tom Cruise pretending to sing? Double ew. Too much ew for me to even watch. Music overall: lacking severly for an 80s "musical".

   Now for Tom Cruise's dedicated bashing paragraph...just no. I mean he's a decent actor, but when it comes to this movie I see no reason for him to even have been mentioned ever. I wasn't a fan of the character though so there is that to consider...but who can like an over exaggerated 80s guy who's first appearance is him rising from a pile of naked women (all guys ever...that's who). He has a monkey follow him around too...was that Tom Cruise's idea? Perhaps not...but I shall blame him all the same. Tom Cruise the monkey was your fault.

  To wrap up all I can say is if you want a good laugh and you're a big 80s fan then watch this. If you prefer to watch movies to actually see something entertaining and slightly artistic...this is not your cup of tea. I'll admit I liked it on the level that I am a 20 year old who can laugh at bad jokes and gay acting (SPOILER ALERT: literally...just watch till the end...there's a gay scene). Overall I'd recommend it to older men with nothing better to do on a weeknight after work than grab a beer and laugh at the 80s. Oh and lastly, there are some golden eggs in the movie, old 80s rockers as cameos in crowds or as passers-by. Keep an eye out and...

An explanation (a recap of my social experiences)

I may not have many readers, but to those of you who like what you read, I'm sorry for my disappearance. I got a job. And a boyfriend. And a magical social life. I turned 19 and magically things started going my way. I have seen quite a few movies (The Hobbit, Dark Knight Rises, Wreck it Ralph, Gangster Squad, and a few more) but I'm usually too exhausted to rip them apart piece by piece on the internet. Hopefully I can slowly but surely write out some reviews, but no promises. I definitely won't have The Hobbit up for a while (mostly because I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan so it will be a particularly long article). So here's to hoping I get back in the habit of writing a new review each week. Until then here's a picture that you hopefully find as amusing as I do...

Fifty Shades of Grey (don't bite your lip)

    Well ladies, here it is. Fifty shades of Grey. The movie. Of course all we have to go on right now are rumors and media hype, but I'm prepared to sort through the facts and find out what I can. Technically I guess this wouldn't be a review, but it's some thoughts on a movie that will eventually come out...so I'm not venturing too far out of my territory here.

   So far the only confirmed rumor is that there will indeed be a movie. There have been so many names thrown around as to who will be cast as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, but as far as I can tell there are no set actors or actresses. Here's a list of the top six contenders according to several polls and websites for Mr. Grey...

1. Ian Somerhalder, 33. Mostly known for his performance as Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries or from his short appearance in Lost (he died in season 2 I believe?)

2. Henry Cavill, 29. His most recent notable role was Theseus in Immortals. 

3. Matt Bomer, 34. Stars on USA's show White Collar as a con man with sex appeal. Also plays Ken in Magic Mike (and might I say that the rumors about his sexuality being a problem for this role are completely ridiculous...the man is sexy even if he's gay)

4. Alexander Skarsgard, 35. Known mostly for his role as Eric Northman on True Blood, the vampire porn show on HBO (and that's not an insult...I like the show, but it basically is vampire porn)

5. Jessie Pavelka, 29. I really haven't heard of anything he's been in...so here's a link to his IMDB page

6. Shia LaBeouf, 26. He was in Holes. More recently though he played in Eagle Eye and did fairly well. 

   Well I guess this is going to turn into a big article on who the best Christian Grey might be, but I'm okay with that since that is what most people are interested in knowing about this movie...as stated those six men are the top picks by everyone so far (according to most of the sites I read). Other picks include Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, and Joe Manganiello. As far as the actual casting goes, E.L. James tweeted "I am not making any comments on casting the movie. No one is ruled out or in yet - far too early." I will agree with her, it's way too early to tell anything about casting. However, with the rumors of the actors interested and the multitude of young suave actors who could be approached for the part I'm sure whoever is chosen will be a perfect Mr. Grey. 
   On a final note, my only real hopes for this movie are that they don't make it too Romeo-and-Juliet-esque and that the casting is done decently. I do apologize for this being solely about one topic, but hopefully I'll be able to write more when more information is available and I'm not looking at 2 AM (also I partly wrote this just to get something new out since I haven't posted in so long). Here's a teaser trailer that was recently released starring Matt Bomer and Alexis Bledel as a thank you for putting up with my rambling about Christian Grey...Laters, baby ;)

Magic Mike (it's raining men!)

    Well ladies, they finally did it. They made a movie about male strippers. And they did it right. They picked the right actors, the story is good, and it's not just pointless sexy men the whole time (which is a bummer at some points). Overall this movie wasn't bad, and I'm not just saying that as a girl. Although I am mostly saying it as someone who likes original ideas, because lets face it Hollywood is just fresh out of anything good anymore. I don't believe I'll ever go to a theater again to watch a horror film because I have been so disappointed with all the recent ones...but that aside, this movie wasn't a re-gifted movie idea or a prequel or a 70-billionth sequel, or even a twisted obnoxious movie version of a novel! I was honestly just excited because of that fact...or maybe the half naked attractive men dancing on the screen? Eh.

   Honestly, this movie had no raw beauty to it, it wasn't shot too well, and there were no specific scenes that stand out in an innovative or creative stand point. However that was not this movies purpose at all. It served its purpose very well...make women feel all warm and tingly in unmentionable places. Two things I can praise however are casting and choreography. Bravo.

   Casting was done by Carmen Cuba and may I say again, bravo? I wish I could hug you. Seriously. I may not have found all the guys attractive, but out of the 7 guys I liked 5. Channing Tatum being my favorite...but he already knew what he was doing up there didn't he? ;)

My favorite scene (of course you don't see Matthew, and the only guys chest you get to see is the least buff...the scene as a whole is good though. I promise)

I won't go into immense detail about casting, because if you want to see this movie you should know these very attractive men...I must say, the two that surprised me the most were Joe Manganiello (Big Dick Richie) and Matt Bomer (Ken). These were my second favorite boys next to Mr. Tatum and his fine moving hips...mostly because I was completely unaware they could move like that! Now I'll admit, Kevin Nash is decent for his age and all, but he wasn't right for this movie. He didn't know the moves and it showed in some scenes. I didn't exactly like Alex Pettyfer either because he wasn't muscular or even that toned...and that seems shallow to say, but when the basis of your movie is hot male strippers the actors you pick should have three major qualities: they can act, they're hot and muscular, and they can do a strip tease (or be able to).

   This movie has a decent plot as well. Not an Oscar winner by any means, but it's not just half-naked guys dancing around for an hour and a half. There's a story to it...a somewhat sad story with an iffy, somewhat muddled ending, but still...a decent story. You couldn't expect anything amazing in that department. Basically Magic Mike starts tutoring this guy named Adam (nicknamed The Kid) and as Mike realizes he wants out of the business (a tragic loss to the world of male stripping...so tragic) Adam spirals deeper in. I'll leave it at that.

   There isn't much else to say about this movie. If you're a female (or a gay man...btw Matt Bomer is gay) with estrogen in your body and hormones raging everywhere you'll love this movie more than anything. Seriously, MALE STRIPPERS. That should be enough to get you excited. If you are any other person on the planet you probably would not like this movie very much. So men, I'm sorry if your wife/girlfriend/significant other drags you to this movie...just be happy she's happy, watching this with her could very well get you sex later. Ladies just remember...these gentlemen can be the husband that you never had, the dream boat guy that never came along, they can be the one night stand that you get to have tonight with them on stage (or movie screen).

It may not be all of them, but it sure is the best of them ;)

Repo! The Genetic Opera (Surgery, surgery!)

   Repo! The Genetic Opera is much like an amazing never ending rock music video. Now the only other opera I have ever seen was something that was in Italian with subtitles when I was 12 years old and personally I loved it, but compared to that this completely blew my mind! However I'm not sure if I should review this like a movie or an opera...I'm gonna go movie so that I can at least pretend to know what I'm talking about. There are a lot of great aspects about this film due to the fact that it's produced by the same producers as Saw as well as the fact that it may as well be an amazing Gothic Rock music video. The lighting is good, the cinematography is good, and the music is better than anything else in this movie.
   Like I said before this is like a cool rock music video, so I'll start with the lighting, effects, and cinematography. All of these are fantastic, there are scenes were guts are spilling everywhere and you can't tell they're fake! Plus the city is supposed to be a post-apocalyptic town built on top of the dead and it looks just like it and gives off the vibe. The camera angles and the way it's shot are perfect for all the moods it tries to give off (mostly grim, but that is the tone of a tragic opera). My favorite scene that portrays all of these is when Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman) shows up at Shilo's (Alexa Vega) house and sings Chase the Morning to Shilo. Her eyes project memories of Marni (Sarah Power) who is Shilo's mother. The lights shine on Blind Mag in the foyer while Shilo watches from the stairs. She seems like an angel as she gives Shilo the only bit of advice any mother figure has ever given her. It's a dramatic and perfectly executed scene.

   The plot is of course amazing. If you saw the movie Repo Men (2010) then you know the very loose basis of the plot. There was a serious disease and a company offering organ implants saved all, but at a price. They were able to reposses the organs if you couldn't pay. However, Repo! The Genetic Opera focuses on a young girl named Shilo whose father is Repo Man due to some very unfortunate circumstances after his wifes death. I won't go into much more detail, but I will say that it's got a good twist and it keeps your attention.

   The acting is also very good, my personal favorite being the Graverobber (Terrance Zdunich). He acts almost as a narrator throughout the opera and is fantastic in his role. Also, I love his voice! All the other actors and actresses are amazing as well, even Paris Hilton. Her singing really isn't as awful as you'd think. I have to give the biggest credit to Alexa Vega, Anthony Head, and Sarah Brightman. They did great and were greatly believable in their roles. I had no clue the first two could sing so well.

   I strongly believe you should see this movie if you like rock music, can stomach a little gore, and don't have strong views against violence in films. There's a little bit about drugs (fictional drugs, but still) and some skimpy outfits (plus a little nudity). Also there is a lot of surgery and blood, so personally I don't recommend this for kids under 13, but that's up to their parents. I thouroughly enjoyed this film, and hope that you do as well. Just pray the Repo Man doesn't come knocking at your door.

The Human Centipede 2 (psychological fuckery)

   Dear God what can any human being say about this film? And yes, you have to call it a film because (unlike the first film in this series) it wasn't just made for the shock factor. While this film thoroughly disgusted me it was also very well played out and well...it was actually good. If you didn't see the first one then you don't know how pointless and awful it was. Quite honestly the only reason it gained any popularity was due to the fact that tosh.0 featured his own commentary and it was about people being sewn together...so yeah. The whole point was the shock factor. However, this film took it to a whole new level of shock factor and a good plot. This movie shocked me, repulsed me, intrigued me, and made me want to vomit at the same time. 

   The plot of this movie actually made sense and was fully explained, which compared to the first one was a shock. The first doesn't explain why the Doctor is fascinated with sewing people together and create a human centipede, while this fully explains Martin's obsession with creating a 12 person centipede. That's all I can say about the plot because the rest simply made me want to puke. 

   I know it is twisted to say this, but this movie was good. It was very psychological and it completely mind fucks you. This movie is definitely not for the feint of heart. It is a complete mind fuck that is twisted in so many ways that it actually manages to be good (in a very twisted sense of the word). The shots in this movie are good, the lighting is good, and the background noise (almost like a soundtrack) is also good. The leading actor Laurence Harvey is amazing at this role which quite honestly scares me a little bit... but in short I think you should watch this film if you want to throw up or if you can stomach all of the disgusting butchery to see the twisted vision that is this film. 

Seriously, this is a warning now...if you watch this film (even though it is in black and white) there is blood, murder, cutting, sawing, hacking, sewing, babies dying, and it shows it all. GRAPHICALLY. Watch at your own risk.